2016: The year that will NOT be my circus.

Today is New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2015. I had to work today, and although it was slow at work, I had two conversations that stood out. They stood out because I said the exact same thing to two different people facing two different situations.

First, I have a friend who has a confusing man-friend situation. Single ladies out there, you know exactly what I mean. She is frustrated by several aspects of their relationship (or non-relationship, as it seemed to me). I told her to stop beating herself up for the sake of someone who treats her the way he does. I told her to repeat after me, “This is NOT my circus. This is not my circus,” whenever she felt herself getting pulled into a troublesome ‘situation’ with said man-friend. Walk away, girlfriend! You will be happier and healthier in the long run.

Second, a friend/coworker called me at work today to check if I saw a message left for me. I had seen the message, and our conversation soon turned to work-related venting. Apparently, she was rather frustrated that other coworkers of our had not followed procedures, not informed her of a specific detail of a work assignment, and left her (by omission) out of the loop such that she didn’t accomplish something she should have accomplished earlier this week. (Incidentally, I also assured her, had I not been out of town on vacation, the situation would have never happened. Little good that did. She reminded me I needed the vacation as much as anyone.)

I told her to remember that this isn’t her circus and she can’t be blamed for someone else’s proven inadequacy. But here’s the kicker about friend #2: she is leaving her current work situation for (we hope) greener pastures, just as I am about to do. I reminded her that it’s going to be over soon. She’s moving on to a place where she can affect positive change and not just stagnate in the quagmire we find ourselves in here at our present location.

A bit later in the conversation, we came upon another topic of frustration to both of us and I repeated my earlier utterance: This is not my circus. I need to walk away and so do you.

Now at the risk of using too many cliches, let me tell you why this isn’t my circus:

  1. I cannot fix stupid.
  2. I cannot make people do understand their job, much less do their job.
  3. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Equally so is the lack of knowledge.
  4. These people are, believe it or not, adults. I don’t get paid enough to babysit my adult coworkers. One other coworker asked me last week what, if anything, will happen when I leave my job because no one else in the park has my skill set. (I really believe she was trying to point out the obvious, although I might not have been her real target audience.)
  5. All hell seems to break loose here on a regular basis. It stresses me out. It prevents me from being productive, which in turn, makes me feel lousy – physically and mentally.

So I must remind myself that I am a short-timer here and this is most definitely NOT my circus.

On that thought, I will begin the new year. I have a LOT of work to do in the next three weeks before I move to my new job. I am attempting to pare down my personal belongings before moving; I am trying to finish up several knitting orders and knitted projects/gifts; I am hoping to finish a book or two; I am trying to work towards my goal of drinking more water so I’m not dry and dehydrated this winter as I move back up to a higher altitude.

We all have goals for the new year. I have lots of things I want to accomplish. But for now, I’ll be content if I can just remember, “This is not my circus,” and just walk away.


Tomorrow Is Just One Of Yesterday’s Dreams

In the last week, my life has taken a turn that I never imagined for myself this year. I mean, it was something that I dearly hoped and prayed for, but I didn’t really expect. The statistics were just stacked against it. But the clouds parted and the sun shone down on my little heart like a miracle.

I interviewed for, and was offered, a position for this summer at Rocky Mountain National Park. Next month, I’ll be packing up my cabin here in Denali and heading down to Colorado.

Today, a coworker looked at me and asked if this course was, perhaps, bittersweet. Sort of. This landscape up here is amazing and life takes on a whole new meaning. I won’t soon forget falling asleep to the simultaneous calling of both loons and wolves last summer at Wonder Lake and waking up to see that huge peak guarding over the low country.

But on the other end of this journey is Rocky. Regardless of the actual job duties, I’ll be able to sit on Trail Ridge once again and watch the sunset.

Enough said.