With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore…
‘Twas the night before Finals, when all through the house
Not a creature was partying, not even a mouse;
The study guides were place on the table with care,
In hopes that Jen would see them there;
The student was no where near her bed,
While visions of top grades danced in her head;
And friends in their fun, but I in my thinking cap,
Had not settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sofa to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Happy Birthday! sign, with no one near.
With a little bit of color and glitter, so funky and sick,
I knew in a moment it was from Girly Chick.
More gaudy than faux jewels, those letters they came,
And sparkled, and shouted, and showed off my name;
“Now, J! now, E! now, N and N!
On, I! on F! on, E and R!”
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
The glitter it floated away over all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the specks they flew,
With the wind full of dust and sparkles too!
And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the porch
The flickering and fleeting light from each little torch.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Across the porch Girly Chick came with a bound.
She was dressed all in sweats, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all glittered with sparkles and soot;
A bundle of snacks she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a peddler just opening her pack.
Her eyes — how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And her frosty cloud of breath was as white as the snow;
The tip of her tongue she held tight in her teeth,
As she tried to open her bag from beneath;
She had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when she laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
She was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And spread out the snacks; then turned with a jerk,
And laying her finger aside of her nose,
And giving a nod, the chocolate candies for me she chose;
She threw the bag at me, to her driver gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, ere she drove out of sight,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEN, MAY YOUR FINALS BE BRIGHT!
My 21st birthday was spent studying for finals in college. Yeah, Dad always told me I was the boring child.